To: Little S
Date: September 13, 2008
Subject: Notes for your department
While I appreciate that it was a Saturday, I'd like to remind you that 5:00 a.m. is not within the agreed upon hours for being awake-any day of the week. Especially since bedtime was at 9:00 p.m. The resulting 8 hours of sleep is significantly less than the 10 1/2 - 11 hours you should be getting as outlined in the baby handbook, section 7, paragraph 3. Management agrees to help by not keeping you out at parties until 8:30 p.m. no matter how cute you're being.
We noted how excellently you put yourself to sleep in the crib this morning for a short nap. A note has been put in your file. I'm sure those skills will come in handy in the future.
3. The Park
Two areas of note from this morning's jog through the park.
-The football players you were so interested in are much too old for you. They were at least seven! or maybe even eight! As you should remember from previous meetings, Big S has detailed that you should not expect to date prior to having attained the age of 33 years.
-The little girls playing soccer that sounded so exciting? You'll note that your department head has clearly indicated she is not a good match for the role of soccer mom. We urge you to consider all of your activity options on the list of Approved Activities. We do value activity here at the Lorpi household though, so while we have seen your concerns, we don't think you have anything to worry about.
Your butt looks adorable, just like the rest of you!